I'm not romanticizing you. I'm trying to romanticize the pain of missing you. Make it into something beautiful. Meaningful. Not the toxic emptiness that spreads like cancer from stomach to heart to bone.
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the smallest memory
Friday, May 23
People say I'm romanticizing you and making you better than you were. They remind me of your shortcomings. But I just keep reminding them of your dusty blonde hair and how it stood straight up in the morning. I'd brush it down while you made french toast and hummed softly along with the playing music. You told me we could stay in bed all day long. You'd cook us french toast and we'd pick at it all day and nap together and read together and make love. I wrapped my arms around your waist and could smell my perfume glued to your shirt.
I'm not romanticizing you. I'm trying to romanticize the pain of missing you. Make it into something beautiful. Meaningful. Not the toxic emptiness that spreads like cancer from stomach to heart to bone.
I'm not romanticizing you. I'm trying to romanticize the pain of missing you. Make it into something beautiful. Meaningful. Not the toxic emptiness that spreads like cancer from stomach to heart to bone.
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spot on. so damn true. it's just hard not to. x
ReplyDeletewow i adore this. i'm right there. this is my pain too.
ReplyDeletexx
This is beautifully penned.
ReplyDelete"People say I'm romanticizing you and making you better than you were"... I do that... and I also romanticize missing him, and romanticize his return... I don´t know what´s worse...I just know I´m not getting any better...
ReplyDeletebeautifully written darling... you´ve got the feeling quite right...
I romanticized someone this past year, made him seem much better than he really is, and ended up with a broken heart when I realized that he wasn't. It hurts, and you never forget it, but maybe over time that pain is alleviated. I hope it is.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorite things I've read from you. It's hard to explain why, but that idea of romanticizing pain, making something beautiful out of something that was otherwise ugly and harmful and just plan crappy. Well, that's really the whole point of what we do, isn't it? Writing. You summed it up perfectly here and that is why I love you.
ReplyDeletei've never been through something like this, but the pain of missing someone is my biggest fear. this is how it would be.
ReplyDeletelady, chills every time!
ReplyDeletethe way you wrote this explains it perfectly even though i don't think i really knew that until i read this. lost love is sort of a romanticized thing and can be really healing in its own way. i think about the good of the past but look forward to how great future love will be. the best is yet to come.
ReplyDeletei find the ones who romanticize the pain... like you...
ReplyDeletethose are the ones i will gravitate to
xx
LuLu
Breakfast After 10
This. No matter how fleeting, this love goes on, and on, and on... and all that's left when he is no longer physically there, are the memories amidst the Now. Don't you hate when people - from the outside looking in - give their two cents on something they didn't experience for themselves?
ReplyDelete