the one cool night of summer

I felt the craving in the roots of my teeth, in the roots of my hair. The craving to be awake, to run and not let my lungs or my ankles stop me. The prickling pull of sleep pressed into my right eyelid heavily, churned and begged for my fist to rub and rub and rub. The greatest relief is always itching your eye until it feels like your eyeball will be smashed into jelly.

I caressed the cold air by arching my back against it as it slowly creeped into my window. A cold breeze, the smell of the air filtering in through the screen the sweetest smell I know besides that of human skin. I miss smelling the skin of an arm slung over my shoulders in the morning, but tonight I did not miss any person who has held me in that way. I only missed their smell.

In the book I just finished, I knew the twist ending from page one. I knew she was dead the whole time and I waited for the twist to unfurl itself so the rest of the reading world would catch up. In the same way, I knew he would cheat from the first flick of his tongue against my ear lobe. In the same way I know that summer will blessedly melt to fall in what feels like no time at all.

via *

3.1.14

It's felt so quiet in the blogging world these past few weeks, hasn't it? Just me? February was upon us and it made everything feel quieter. Everything felt very tired and heavy this month, except the gorgeous weather that Salt Lake City has been treated to. When it wasn't a day sprinkled with springtime sun, it was sprinkling rain. My two favorites. I was even able to read outside for the first time of the year. I even felt a bit too hot in the sunlight. I stayed in the sun. I stayed hot. It was delicious and welcome. I'm ready to be too hot as opposed to too cold.

March is a favorite of mine and if the end of February was any inclination as to the wonder that will be March, I say bring it on!

Wonderful things coming this March and beyond:

• I'll be 22 on the 20th! I've always felt so much older than I am and as I continue to pass birthdays I feel like I'm finally aging into my personality (Thanks for the quote Nick Miller.) 
• Last Thursday was the first of my four workshop classes for a Young Adult Literature writing class. We met with an editor as well as a literary agent and got to pick their brains about writing and publishing. Next week I'm bringing in some of my own writing to be edited by the next guest speaker, a writer of Young Adult fiction. Cannot wait!
• Even bigger news, this week I found out that both of the pieces I submitted to the National Undergraduate Literature Conference were accepted! Not only was I invited to the conference, but I will be reading both of my pieces at the conference! I'm overwhelmed and excited and humbled and all of the other adjectives. That conference is the first week of April :) Look at me, achieving things. Unreal. Still.
• The novel didn't get finished in February. Surprise surprise, school has kept me enormously busy. So much reading. So much essays. So much studying. Not a lot of time for personal writing, especially the novel. I cannot wait for spring break so I can sink myself back into that pool and lose myself in that story again without that nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I should probably be doing homework instead. 

February came and went very fast, even if her presence was felt very heavily. I hope March feels the need to stay a while, have a drink with me, take me out on the town. 

How were your February days? I hope March is even better for us all. Big things are coming this year. My bones are buzzing.

via *