Showing posts with label Spring. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spring. Show all posts

spring

Monday, April 28

I listen to movie soundtracks while I put together the soundtrack to my own life.
I beg myself to skip a meal so boys will kiss me harder, touch me longer.
But that's foolish and awful so I eat blueberries until my tongue is numb from sugar and my fingers are stained like lilacs.
I spy on my neighbors in their pretty things, sitting in hammocks and reading Nabokov.
The sun seems too scared of my searing white flesh to touch it for long but the longer I lay in the grass, the more the sun sneaks up on me. I like the lines the sun leaves on me, arrows pointing to all of my hidden skin.
When the weather has tricked us into an early summer, I write the grey days away pouring my own warmth into words.

via *

4.16.14

Wednesday, April 16

The day I stopped hating my hips,
the day I welcomed these rosebuds
that had bloomed at my sides
was the day I heard the flowers dying.
She said they were flowers from
the day their love was spoken,
flowers that had fluctuated on
our windowsill for months,
volleying between life and death,
unable to water themselves
while she leaves, licking her lips
and showering in his name.

That morning they wilted,
parched and empty like my insides,
wounded, alone, beautiful and damaged.
Their hollow stems shake and flee
from the garbage disposal like I
shook from his vinegar words.

I speak to them in dew drops
and they beam against the window,
the symbol of another's love,
cradled by my hands.
The hands I wrap around my back,
just to remember what it feels
like to forget myself.
To remember what those undiscovered
curves and valleys have been
to my Magellans, I the only
native still standing in the
middle of the poppy fields
sweeping away the ashes
with gentle, open palms.

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April come she will

Tuesday, April 1

We're getting into the meat of the year now, yeah? Right now I'm hitting the final stretch of the semester, the time when I ask myself if I really need to go to class or if I can afford to sleep in for an extra hour. Guess which has been winning.

April is a pretty month for poetry. Rain and rebirth. I'm excited to taste it all.

My April will feature:

  • The return of GAME OF THRONES
  • The literature conference I was accepted to is this weekend. Mildly nervous for reading my two pieces. More nervous about finding the right buildings and parking. My irrational fears of being lost or late or looking like an idiot cannot be topped. 
  • I'll be returning to my high school to teach Gatsby to some Juniors like I did last year. Cannot. Wait. Hopefully this year I won't have to yell at a kid and tell him he's gonna peak in High School. (oops) 
  • More sunny days means more outside study time which is infinitely better than studying inside. That should help my focus, right? One can hope. 
Not too much happening in April, beside my semester ending and 8000 essays I have to write. But then summer. 

I love the prologue of April. What are you excited about this month? What's got you feeling alive and breathing? 

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3.1.14

Saturday, March 1

It's felt so quiet in the blogging world these past few weeks, hasn't it? Just me? February was upon us and it made everything feel quieter. Everything felt very tired and heavy this month, except the gorgeous weather that Salt Lake City has been treated to. When it wasn't a day sprinkled with springtime sun, it was sprinkling rain. My two favorites. I was even able to read outside for the first time of the year. I even felt a bit too hot in the sunlight. I stayed in the sun. I stayed hot. It was delicious and welcome. I'm ready to be too hot as opposed to too cold.

March is a favorite of mine and if the end of February was any inclination as to the wonder that will be March, I say bring it on!

Wonderful things coming this March and beyond:

  • I'll be 22 on the 20th! I've always felt so much older than I am and as I continue to pass birthdays I feel like I'm finally aging into my personality (Thanks for the quote Nick Miller.) 
  • Last Thursday was the first of my four workshop classes for a Young Adult Literature writing class. We met with an editor as well as a literary agent and got to pick their brains about writing and publishing. Next week I'm bringing in some of my own writing to be edited by the next guest speaker, a writer of Young Adult fiction. Cannot wait!
  • Even bigger news, this week I found out that both of the pieces I submitted to the National Undergraduate Literature Conference were accepted! Not only was I invited to the conference, but I will be reading both of my pieces at the conference! I'm overwhelmed and excited and humbled and all of the other adjectives. That conference is the first week of April :) Look at me, achieving things. Unreal. Still.
  • The novel didn't get finished in February. Surprise surprise, school has kept me enormously busy. So much reading. So much essays. So much studying. Not a lot of time for personal writing, especially the novel. I cannot wait for spring break so I can sink myself back into that pool and lose myself in that story again without that nagging voice in the back of my head telling me I should probably be doing homework instead. 
February came and went very fast, even if her presence was felt very heavily. I hope March feels the need to stay a while, have a drink with me, take me out on the town. 

How were your February days? I hope March is even better for us all. Big things are coming this year. My bones are buzzing.

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Work in Progress

Sunday, May 26

Here is the start of a short story I am currently working on! I'm excited to share some of my writing on this blog other than just personal stuff. I'd love to hear some comments from you all :). The story is based on my favorite work of art by my favorite artist, Banksy. Perhaps you know it. This story is far from over but here is the start of it. Enjoy!



Early in the spring of her 21st year, Heidi Chapel reclined gently in a meadow of baby’s breath and lilacs. The clouds hung lazily in the indigo sky of the early May evening. She reached her hand out to her side, running her fingers through the grass, letting it tickle her arms until goose bumps rose up like tiny anthills along the smooth pavement of her flesh. Her breath came out in slow easy sighs, blending with the music of the wind combing through her hair.
It was amazing to Heidi that being alone could taste so sweet. But only by being alone could she truly feel connected to anything anymore. With her mind silenced and the grass pressed against her cheek Heidi became part of the Earth. She sank herself deeper and deeper into the ground until she felt roots spring from her mind anchoring her to the world.
The wind stood still for a moment as a voice rose up beside her. “Haven’t seen you here for a bit, Heidi. Welcome back.”
She tilted her head toward his voice as he sat down next to her. A smile flirted onto the corners of her mouth. “Speak for yourself, Andy. I never left Wonderland. I’m here in my mind all the time. Where have you been?”
“Oh, here and there.”
“Doing?”
“Oh, this and that.”
Heidi chuckled and turned away. “Always the enigma.”
“Yes of course. But not today. Today is a special day, Heidi. Today is-“
“I know what today is, Andy. How could I not? But please, let’s not talk about that. Let’s just rest here a minute.” Heidi closed her eyes and took a deep breath, letting it fall out of her mouth in a heavy sigh.
“Heidi, we-“
She put her hand up to stop his words, before lowering her finger to her lips, shushing him. “Don’t ruin today, please. Just let me fall asleep in the grass and don’t wake me up,” she whispered.
“Ok, Heidi. Rest easy. I’ll stand watch, just like when we were young. I’ll keep the monsters away.” He looked at his sister lying in the grass, the wind now a velvet blanket easing her to sleep. “The monsters won’t find you here. I’m King Arthur, remember?”



“I’ll fight the monsters, my lady! I’ll chase them away, for I am King Arthur, brave and true!” Andy was ten and sporting a bright yellow cast. Tromping through the bushes, he swung his sword gallantly.
Over on the other side of the yard, Heidi held down tree limbs forming her prison. Her eight-year-old voice called out to her brother in alarm, “They are coming closer, Arthur! Don’t let them eat me!” Her pitch grew as she continued crying out support to the brave soldier battling the invisible monsters invading their homeland.
Her knight fought bravely. The trolls were toppled, the sea monster shamed, the dragon defeated, and the goblins groveled on their knees to be spared. “I am a merciful King, you beasts! If you promise to serve no one else but me and my sister, you may live.”
“PAUSE!” Heidi shrieked as she ran from her prison cell and feel onto her knees in front of her brother. Scrunching her face, and shrinking her arms until she resembled a newly hatched T-Rex, Heidi presented herself before her King. “We the goblins promise to be loyal subjects! I will take out the garbage for you and your sister and… and… make all of the beds!”
“You must shake my hand for the deal to be good, you disgusting creature.” King Arthur extended his good arm out to his sister. Slowly, she gripped his hand as he shouted, “From this day on this girl shall be my slave! Heidi Chapel will forever serve me, the mighty KING ANDY!”
“That’s not the game, Andy! Let me go!” Andy tightened his grip on her hand as she struggled to pull away. She toppled him, pushing herself on top of him, still trying to free her hand. The two twisted and turned about the yard, grass stains piling up on Andy’s cast and Heidi’s new white summer dress. With angry tears flowing down Heidi’s face, her throat sore from shouting, the fighting wore on until a voice sounded from within the house.
“ANDREW DANIEL CHAPEL! What do you think you are doing? You know you have to be more careful with that cast! Get up right now before you need a matching one on your right arm! Heidi, look at your dress! What are you, a barn animal?” Their mother was an imposing woman in her cream-colored blazer and navy dress. She had her hair twisted into a tight bun, not a hair daring to move out of place. Her kind eyes, revealing an inner child that couldn’t be deterred from playing just by wearing stiff clothing, softened her imposing air.
“MOM! Andy says I have to do all his chores for him because I shook his hand! But I wasn’t shaking his hand, Mom! He was being King Arthur and I was being a goblin!”
“But you always look like a goblin, stupid! That’s why the trick worked,” Andy laughed.
“MOM!”
“Andy, be nice to your sister! Playtime is over. Heidi, you don’t have to do any chores but your own chores. Andy, apologize to your sister. And both of you get in this house right now. You both have to change now before we go to lunch with your grandmother. Hurry up.” As she turned around, her motherly scowl turned into a smile that reached from ear to ear and warmed her soul.
Apathetically, Andy rolled his eyes toward his sister. “Heidi, I’m sorry I said you looked like a goblin. And I guess since you’re a baby who got mom involved you don’t have to do my chores.”
“I’m NOT a baby and you’re NOT sorry! I hate you forever and I’ll never talk to you again!” Heidi ran off into the house, leaving King Arthur defenseless and alone in the golden afternoon. 

Happy Things

Monday, February 4

It's been a sad few weeks what with all this horrid weather and smog and just general blues. BUT, the sun is out and little things are creeping under my skin to make me smile. Here's some things that are making me happy right now. (In list form because nothing is happier than ORGANIZATION)


  • Spring is coming!!
    • Guys. The sun is out for the first time in what feels like sixteen years. The other day I got done with work at 11 in the morning, I walked outside and it felt so warm and lovely! Today I drove with my windows down with music play and the sun streaming in, gah I could have died. Granted my heater was also on full blast but I'll take it. Also, look at these gorgeous pictures of spring and things. I'M DEAD.



    Mmmmmmmmm
    Marie Antoinette is the prettiest movie to watch.
  • Sour Patch Watermelons
    • These are the best candy always. I told my mom to get some... so she brought home a one pound super bag full of joy and diabetes. There is only a tiny ziplock bag remaining. She brought it home a week ago. NO SHAME.
                                            
  • Arthur.
    • K. I've been watching Arthur on Netflix to help me fall asleep at night. You guys. This show is the best. Yeah, I'm talking about the PBS Arthur show from our youth. It's so awesome. All of these children love reading and I love them. Except stupid Francine and D.W. who will always suck. But this show is so clever. My favorite episode is when Fern's favorite author is Persimmony Glitchet, who writes The Series of Horrible Happenings. SO CLEVER I LOVE LEMONY SNICKET AND ARTHUR.


  • This New Song I Heard Today
    • Driving around today, this song happened. It was one of those moments where I just kept driving because the song was too perfect. It's called Safe and Sound by Capital Cities and seriously... it's the best thing I've heard in so long. They are my new obsession. And watch the video because it's perfect. Perfect.
  • Amy Poehler
    • Amy Poehler is my spirit animal. I am her. She is me. We are one. Everything she says is what I say. Nobody is greater than her.


  • Ian Somerhalder.
    • JUST HIS FACE GUYS. GUYS. STAHP.



  • This cat. This cat most of all.




So what's making you guys happy right now? LEMME KNOW I LOVE YOU BYE.