Dear Stephanie Perkins

It's been too long since I've had a book to gush about. A book that filled me up, made me it's prisoner, made me squeal like an idiot and made me believe in love and words. A book that sparks my insides and moves me to write and to read and to smile and to UGH very loudly.

Stephanie Perkins you win again. 

Last year I read Anna and the French Kiss swiftly followed by Lola and the Boy Next Door. I shared some thoughts on those two books here but to echo the sentiment a bit, these books moved me so much. These characters are just so alive and so beautiful and broken and unique. The way Stephanie writes is just electric and so full of love. You can feel this woman's passion and love for words and her characters soak through the pages.

She writes how I want to write. I love when you can tell an author loves their characters and I think Stephanie Perkins takes the cake there. I can almost feel her squealing with me when the characters kiss and getting frustrated with me when her characters aren't together. I like that I can feel how much love and care and attention each character gets. I like that the characters become my friends and that they are Stephanie's friends too.

I devour her books also. It's been a good summer for reading but good GOD I was not ready for the majesty of Isla and the Happily Ever After, the last book of her sort of, interrelated series. I don't want to give anything away by way of plot but here's the low down. Isla is shy and has always loved Josh, a broody hot artist who can't seem to focus on much. After a very awkward (and literally awesome) first official meeting over summer vacation, their school year in Paris becomes a lovely jumble of romance and sorrow and GUYS I COULD NOT.

One of the best parts of these books is that they truly transport you to the landscapes that they take place in. In Anna, you are swept away to Paris and you return back to Paris in Isla after some time in New York and some even more delicious time in Barcelona (STEPHANIE PERKINS I CAN'T WITH YOU). But one of my favorite experiences was reading Lola while I was in San Francisco last week. I mean, holy wow it brought the book to life in bursting colors. I drove through the Castro and picked the houses I though Lola and Cricket lived in and loved in. I bought some crazy dresses in the Haight and felt my Lola showing. She knows San Francisco and she paints each city she uses so lovingly and so beautifully.

My favorite line of Lola

I could gush about the intricacies of her books forever, how much I love the boys she writes (PS STEPHANIE PERKINS YOU ALSO SUCK BECAUSE I CAN'T PICK BETWEEN THE THREE OF THEM HOW DARE YOU), and how beautifully she writes her women. I can see pieces of all of them in me and that makes reading her books very fun and also very revealing. These girls have their faults and there are times when reading them revealed mine and I got so uncomfortable for a minute, but then so inspired. Like Isla for example. She is so hard on herself and she focuses on her past and Josh's past so much. I was so frustrated reading that until I realized that I do the exact same thing. Her books always seem to reveal me. It's because her characters are so damn realistic. It might seem easy to dismiss these books as easy to read or mindless romance but HOT DAMN do they get heavy and real and raw.

Stephanie Perkins is the writer I want to be and her words always wake me up when I need them to. I have been in the worst writing rut of all time. I feel like I have creative ADD. I sit down to write, feel so jazzed to be writing, and then I just can't. It feels empty and useless to try. I feel like I have nothing to say and no words to say anything. But her books excite me. They make me feel love and they make me feel a love of love in books. That feeling of getting so sucked into words that you cannot stop, you cannot and will not put it down. I want to write a book like that and Stephanie Perkins makes me feel like that type of writing is possible.

On her blog she has talked about battling depression. About how hard it is to write through it sometimes. I feel that pain so so much. Brains are assholes. Brains tell you you can't write or that you shouldn't or that people won't like you. And when that happens, bodies and words shut down. On one of her posts about depression, I left a comment for her about how much she inspires me. And guess what? She responded to me! :) She said "Thank you, Em. I'm so sorry that your brain is mean to you, too. I'm glad you're fighting it! Keep writing. I can't wait to read YOUR book someday. :-)"

...

...
......

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I was dying when that happened last year. And something more, I know she means it because she is just the nicest.

I know this post is all over the place but in the end, it has one purpose. Thank you so much Stephanie Perkins. Thank you for your books, your characters (particularly the boys but... how can I pick between the three ugh), your hope, your words, being you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for giving me my writing back.

I cannot wait for your next masterpiece.

for Lux

You felt the wind in
your hair, even in the
last moments when
the wind was carbon dioxide,
snuffing out your cigarette
and snapping the flirtation
from your eyes.

The castles in your mind
toppled and crumbled as
their hands fondled and gripped,
first only one, then a score
of men by moonlight.
Their hands were the hands of
Gods and monsters.

Where was your mind?
Where were you dreaming of?
How did we fail you?
What land have you and
your sisters run to with
ropes on your neck and
pills in your bellies?

Now you can move through
us all, barely kissing our eyelids
with your ever laughing
lips, lusting for life,
hungry for love and journey.
Golden hair bleeds down your back
and brushes over us as we dream of you.

(Based on The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides)

via *

smatterings of writing thoughts.

School is in SESH you guys. It's been a learning experience more than just in class. Here's what I've learned. Gotta get over my own pride, but it's the pride we all have as book lovers. We love hard and deep. We are unforgiving if people attack our favorite books because they have affected us. But sometimes hearing why people dislike books can change us for the better. They can't take anything away from how YOU read the book. My textbook said "What we do with literature alters what it does to us." Being open to discussion is hard, but so necessary.

Blogging has helped so much with this. I love reading different responses to my posts. I love reading blogs of different people going through different things. Their experiences become different experiences from me and I draw from all of them. It's also taught me to be respectful of the writing of others. I like to think I am a good writer and because of that, I tend to get prideful and snotty when other people write. But blogging has mellowed me and let me accept the gifts of others. I admire so many of you so so much and wish I could write like you do! We all have different styles and voices and that's why writing is great. Sure, these are stories we may have heard a million times but we have never heard them from YOU.

And in addition to all that, I love that you are all getting to know me through my words and vice versa. I feel most myself through my writing and I love that you are all getting such a deep peek into my mind on here. I try to stay always honest and open on my blog. My blog is my home, it's my favorite corner of my house and I am so happy you all visit me every so often. Thank you for letting me get to know you and for getting to know me so kindly. Let's all get together soon.

via *

Alaska

I always wanted to write and I always took solace in words. My childhood was tumultuous to say the least but something vital happened to me when I was about 15 (which now looking back on it was a big year for books) I fell down my first youtube hole and spent four hours watching all of the Vlogbrothers Brotherhood 2.0 videos. It was 2007 and the project was just hitting its sixth month. John and Hank Green made videos back and forth and somewhere in there John mentioned a book he wrote called Looking for Alaska.

via *

I wandered into Barnes and Noble, grabbed a copy, then went home and read it all in one sitting under a pile of sheets and tears. I'd never felt so wholly understood by a book. I'd never seen a character so like me on pages. I'd never had feelings I'd always felt put into words I didn't know were the right words. I'd always loved books but this was my first favorite book. My world changed that summer night. I finally knew what I wanted to write.

via *

When I talk favorite books, I have my Big Three. I've talked before about Gatsby and The Book Thief and there is no better time than now to talk about Alaska. It's January 10th. It's Alaska Young Day.

I read this book every January to coincide with Alaska Young day. If you've read the book, you know the significance of January 10th. But even if the day wasn't significant I'd read the book once a year, just as I do with my other favorites. I miss these characters when I don't read the book. I think of them sometimes like I reminisce about my own friends. "Hey, remember the night in the barn with Pudge and Alaska? That was great." They are just as real to me as my friends. They've taught me just as much and helped me grow just as much.

I read this book at an interesting time. I was growing and changing and my life was turning around me quickly while I stood powerless to stop the ever growing wreckage. I could see myself going down a very dangerous road and I welcomed it because what else could I have done? What else was I worth?

In the character of Alaska I saw myself. Powerful, motivated, broken, sexy, charged, enraged, empowered. Volatile, scary, passionate, self destructive. Reading her story was like holding up a mirror, or a warning. We were driving down the same road at 95 miles an hour. The difference? She turned left and after reading her, I turned right. She saved me. She was my first building block in finding myself.

via *

I still see myself in her when I read the book. We talk the same still. Think the same often. I'm still as moody as ever and I have my days where answering questions won't happen and you just have to accept that my melancholy streak will never die. But after this novel I grow. Every time I read it I grow. I'm reminded of the dangers of holding to your past and letting it kill you. I grow with Pudge and learn the value of my own great perhaps.

John Green, though. He's been my favorite author since I as 15. His words have kept me up half the night way before The Fault in our Stars ripped all of our hearts out. He's influenced my writing style a lot, I'd like to think. I love his always honest, never preachy way of expressing emotion. He is relatable and open and never patronizing or belittling. He knows we are intelligent people and he knows how big our hearts are. His gift really cannot be touched and if I could be 1/8 of what he is, I would be pleased with my life.

His words always inspire me, whether I'm rereading a book of his or watching his weekly videos. He is so unwavering in who he is and always full of hope and inspiration, something I want to be as well. He makes me better and he makes me hope. He makes me want to write so I can save someone like his books saved me. In a few years when some fifteen year old girl feels so alone and lost, they can pick up my book and feel heard and healed, just like I was.

via *

In my second year of college before I took my time off, I was in a directing class. The final project was to direct our own short 20 minute play. When I was down at that university, I was incredibly unhappy and I was not writing at all (which explains part of the unhappiness). After tearing through script after script and finding nothing, I saw Alaska sitting on the edge of my bed staring at me with her emerald green eyes, a cigarette between her smirking lips. I knew what to do.

via *

I wrote a play based on the book. I wrote a twenty page script in one night and cried after I was done. I hadn't written in so long. I hadn't felt my words carrying me in so long. The misery seemed to clear and I felt like myself again. This book brought my words back to me and to this day that play is the piece of writing I am the most proud of. Now, if only I could find some way of getting John Green to read it! That would be the dream.

So on this day, January 10th, Alaska Young day, I celebrate this life changing book. I'll read the book, pour myself a revolting glass of Strawberry Hill, and hold an unlit cigarette between my lips for her. An eternal thank you to John Green for this book, the life changing member of my Big Three that shaped who I am, my career goals, and everything. Thank you Pudge, Takumi, Lara, The Colonel, and Alaska most of all.

via *

i resolve not to dissolve

Here's another resolution post to clog your feeds and minds at this time of year. I've seen posts of people saying they hate resolutions and some say they love them because it's nice to feel inspired, if only for the first month. Last year was the first year that I achieved any of my resolutions and that feeling of accomplishment stretched out over a year is really an amazing feeling. It's nice to work at something for an entire year and get it done. It's like the world's best to do list finally being crossed off.

I don't have as many resolutions this year because college is a thing again this year. But I do have a few.

1. Read 40 books in 2014
Last year I read 50 books and that was awesome. This year I want to read a few less to allow myself some time for school and junk. Yay books!

2. Finish my novel and have query letters ready to send out by October.
So I have my 50,000 words but I have a few more to go until the book is completely done. I hope to finish the first draft by at least March or April, edit all summer, send the book out by fall.

3. Get a 4.0 each semester in school.
I'm not letting college to to waste this time around. I'm at my dream school in my dream major. This will be my time. It will be all for me. I'm going to do the absolute best I can and settle for nothing less.

4. Read every book that is assigned to me in school in its entirety.
No sparknotes, no summaries. I want to read them all. HA we will see.

5. Do not let myself get washed away or dissolve.
I'm through compromising myself and my dreams. I'm done taking any crap from anywhere. I am my own person and I will live this life for myself before anyone else. I want to stay true to myself and who I am and never let my personality wilt for other humans. I like myself too much.

Not too many, nothing that I know I cannot do. No fitness crap that I truly don't care about. 2014 will be my year because I will make it mine.

Let's go, lovelies. Let's get this year.

via *

a year in words and a top ten

My biggest resolution for this year was to read 50 books in 2013. There were a lot of times when I got busy or tired that I didn't think I could do it but today I finished book number 50! I'm so happy I was able to complete this goal; I'm incredibly proud. I read a total of 13,333 pages this year. Longest book was 666 pages, shortest book was 64.

On top of that I made a goal to read one classic book a month. Did that too :)

This was a great year for words and I know I won't have another year like this for a long time because of how busy I'll be in school for approximately 900 years until I have all of my degrees done.

I read a lot, I wrote even more. I completed NaNoWriMo guys. I wrote a novel in one month. I wrote 50,202 words in. one. month. I've downplayed that a lot but DAMN. That is so many words, so much life was told for my characters and much more will still be told but that's a hell of a good start. 25 chapters, 83 single spaced pages on Word. I'm so happy I could burst.

I hope you all had a wonderful year of reading and writing and that you continue to read and write into 2014 as I plan to do, even if school sometimes gets in the way. It's like Lemony Snicket says, “As I'm sure you know, a good night's sleep helps you perform well in school, and so if you are a student, you should always get a good night's sleep unless you have come to the good part of your book, and then you should stay up all night and let your schoolwork fall by the wayside, a phrase which means "flunk."

Here are my top ten books of 2013. I'll try to order them as best I can. And I won't include rereads, because if I'm going to do that, The Book Thief would win every year and that just wouldn't be fair :)

Top Ten Books of 2013-

1. Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
It's a book about writing and finding yourself, a lot like what my year consisted of. It touched my heart and inspired me.

via *

2. The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides

Gorgeous, lush, delicate language that haunted me long after I finished reading it. I found myself just as obsessed with the Lisbon Girls as the boys who narrated the story.

3. Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

Just the most fun and romantic book I read this year. I've never fallen harder for a romantic book and this one truly stayed with me and made me dream of my Paris Prince.

4. The Diary of a Young Girl by Anne Frank

I cannot believe it took me as long as it did to read this book but man was it moving. To see this girl grow up on the pages and to hear her voice and her life moving around after she is gone was one of the most profound experiences I've ever had as a reader.

5. Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn

This was the book I read this year that kept me up at night, freaked out of my wits. I couldn't eve start a new book for a few days after this book ended because I was still thinking about this book. Flynn is an amazing writer. Her stories weave about like no others.

6. Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins

The sort of sequel to Anna, this book was just as sweet and lovely. How Stephanie Perkins is able to make such playful and deep romance without ever being corny is amazing to me. I cannot wait for her next book to come out this year! I wrote some more feelings about her here. 

7. Maus 1 & 2 by Art Spiegelman

Graphic novel about his father's time in Auchwitz and the time leading up to the war. Groundbreaking, moving, inspiring, unforgettable. I loved how the story of his father's time was told while also telling the story of Art writing the book and interviewing his father. Their relationship broke my heart.

8. Eleanor and Park by Rainbow Rowell

Rainbow Rowell cannot be stopped, nor should she be. She is clever and her writing is like a dream. This book hooked me so much and made me feel a whole lot of things. It was truly a perfect book. I wrote more words about it here and here. 

9. The Madness Underneath by Maureen Johnson

Besides being one of the funniest humans on planet Earth, Maureen Johnson can write one hell of a story. This book series felt made for me. London, ghost stories, boarding school, history, attractive British boys. This is the second book in the series and I loved it. I'm still horribly mad about the end but hopefully book three will be out soon!

10. The 13 Clocks by James Thurber

This book was recommended to me by my grandmother's friend. He loaned me his very old copy that smelled like words and history and I was excited to dive in. It's a short little fairy tale but the words in this book are some of the most beautiful I've ever read. There were sentences in there that made me cry just by reading them. Truly an amazing little book that inspired the writer and the child in me.

And there we have it! I cannot wait to see what books I'll find myself curling up with in 2014. Hopefully they will be just as good as the books I read this year! 

Full list of the books I read can be found on my Goodreads. Happy reading, lovelies. I hope your New Year is phenomenal and safe. Mine promises to be a great night. :)

Getting Rooted in New Zealand

A few weeks back a beautiful woman named Jamie Baywood contacted me about her book called Getting Rooted in New Zealand. I was so thrilled to read her book and even more excited for the opportunity to interview her after I read it. She sent me a copy and although some family stuff took over my time for a while, when I did get to read her book, I tore through it in one night. Oh my goodness. This girl can write. Also, she is one of the funniest people in the entire world.

Courtesy of Jamie Baywood

Her book is a memoir about her time in New Zealand. Jamie moved to New Zealand on a work visa to escape the dating scene she found herself in and to find some adventure. New Zealand has about 100,000 fewer men in the population than women, perfect for a girl needing a change and needing to avoid creepy men. (Side note, she found the creepiest people in California. Her stories about her past relationships are so phenomenally awkward.) Through her introspection about her past and mulling through her present in New Zealand, Jamie is able to find more of herself and finally get rooted in New Zealand, in more ways than one. (The best part of this book is the double meaning of the word rooted. So. Much. Yes.)

Courtesy of Jamie Baywood.
Look at how stunning she is. Prettiest ever.

She is an amazing writer. Her style is so conversational and open. She's incredibly honest and giving and you sincerely feel that she is a friend of yours telling you about her time living abroad. When she meets crazy men, you laugh and cringe with her. When she has a horrific day at work with her boss who is a one woman tornado, you get mad with her. When she meets a sexy Scottish guy and starts loving on him, you cheer for her. (PS Jamie... I was 10000% serious when I asked if Grant has any single friends. I love Scots. Hook a girl up!)

After finishing her book I sent her a few interview questions that I'd love to share with you. Here is our interview. Enjoy getting to know Jamie Baywood a bit more; I sure did.

Did you know when you moved to New Zealand that you were going to write a book about your experiences?

I consider myself an accidental author. I didn’t go to New Zealand with the intentions of writing a book about my experiences there. I had funny experiences that I had trouble believing were true. I wrote the stories down to stay sane. I wrote situations down that were happening around me and shared them with friends. The stories made people laugh so I decided to organize the stories into a book and publish in the hopes to make others laugh too.

My education is in fine arts, I didn’t write until I moved to New Zealand. I had a lot of art shows in California and New Zealand and even managed an art collective in Auckland. I was bored with the fine art scene. Everything has already been done before in painting, but I am the only person that can tell my own story. Writing feels like a more honest form of art than any other method I’ve tried.

Courtesy of Jamie Baywood

Publishing my book was my way of transforming poison into medicine. I hope that it can help people that have had bad dating experiences or bad work experiences – make them laugh and not give up hope.  I had good, bad and weird experiences in New Zealand and California. My experiences have turned me into a writer and I am extremely grateful for that.  People that read it either seem to think it’s hilarious or horrifying and I respect all points of view.  I hope my book Getting Rooted in New Zealand makes you laugh!

It would be impossible to write down every single thing that happen to me in New Zealand for over a year and it probably wouldn’t be interesting to read. My book is 100% true. These are 100% my experiences. I have changed some the names, but not all of individuals and organizations to preserve privacy. Most of the book was written as the events happened; it just took me a few years to work up the nerve to publish. To write my book Getting Rooted In New Zealand, I relied upon my personal journals, e-mails, and memories. In February 2013, I organized my stories into a cohesive narrative. It went through several rounds of editing and then I published in April.

When did you start writing? What got you started?

I had the opportunity to write and perform for Thomas Sainsbury the most prolific playwright in New Zealand. I performed a monologue about my jobs in the Basement Theatre in Auckland.  The funny thing about that experience was Tom kept me separated from the other performers until it was time to perform. I was under the impression that all the performers were foreigners giving their experiences in New Zealand.  All of the other performers were professional actors telling stories that weren’t their own. At first I was mortified, but the audience seemed to enjoy my “performance,” laughing their way through my monologue. After the shows we would go out and mingle with the audience. People would ask me how long I had been acting. I would tell them, “I wasn’t acting; I have to go to work tomorrow and sit next to the girl wearing her dead dog’s collar around her neck.”

What was the hardest part about writing this book?

I know my experiences in New Zealand are unusual, but to be completely honest it was an improvement from my life in California. Surprisingly, I seem to be getting the best feedback from people living in New Zealand both Kiwis and non-Kiwis.  I have received very kind emails from New Zealanders saying they enjoyed reading my book, they are looking forward to reading the next one and some encourage me to move back to New Zealand.

I love making people laugh more than anything else. I love hearing from readers that my book is making people laugh out loud. The hardest part has been when people don’t understand my humour. I have been in a lot of situations where I had two choices: laugh or cry. I’ve chosen to laugh. I write my experiences from a purely personal standpoint. Compared to other travellers who worked abroad in New Zealand my experiences have been very unusual. I would highly recommend everyone goes to New Zealand to experience their own adventure.

I think readers need to remember this is the dairy of a young, hormonal and confused twenty-something, this is not a travel guide to New Zealand.  I am sincerely appreciative of everyone that has read Getting Rooted in New Zealand. I’m absolutely grateful that readers are enjoying the book and reviewing it positively. I love making people laugh. I hope you enjoy Getting Rooted in New Zealand!

From the very beginning it is clear that you are very dedicated to your Buddhist faith. How did you find that faith and what hooked you to it?

In addition to being an accidental author, I am also an accidental Buddhist. I never planned to become either. I was introduced to the Buddhist practice that involves chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo through a friend. I was very reluctant to go to the Buddhist meeting with him; I thought it would be really weird. Much to my surprise hearing the chanting made me feel at home on a cellular level. I’ve always struggled with anxiety and at times depression, chanting Nam Myoho Renge Kyo calms me to the core.

Over the next few years, through a lot of chanting, going to Buddhist study meetings and reading books like The Buddha in Your Mirror I really learned to love, value and respect myself. For the first time in my life I felt really happy and the happiness came from within. The thing that I like about Buddhism is it is about taking 100% responsibility for your own life. The word karma translates into action. You can change your karma by changing your actions. Essentially, stop doing the same thing and expecting a different result. For me, needed to overcome my relationship karma by stopping dating guys that I knew were wrong for me.

Five years later I’ve now lived and practiced this Buddhism in five different countries: California, American Samoa, New Zealand, Scotland and now England. The practice is in 192 countries around the world and everywhere I go I have a built in community. Five years ago, I never thought I would get married. I’ve now been married for nearly two years and married the son of a knight in a castle in Scotland. My life has transformed in many ways other than my relationship karma, but I have literally chanted my way from trailer parks to castles.

You mention that New Zealand has one hundred thousand fewer men than women. Coming off of a few heartbreaks myself this idea to go to New Zealand is sounding pretty good to me! Was that the only reason you chose New Zealand?

I know it sounds like a crazy reason, but I needed a serious change in my life and felt I needed to leave the country to do so. I started dating my first boyfriend when we were fourteen and the relationship ended when I was twenty-three.  I had never dumped someone and didn’t have the life skills to do so. Between ages twenty-three and twenty-six, I would only date guys I knew I could dump easily. Not surprisingly, only dating guys with clear and abundant flaws that were easy to dump, created a lot of chaos and drama in my life. 

When I was twenty-four, I had my second boyfriend who I call Hank, in real life his named rhymed with Hank. Hank had a drug dealer that sincerely went by the name Stank. I took Hank to rehab, after that I had a string of crazy suitors and ex’s.  If you had Hank and Stank in your life, what other choice do you have, but to leave the country and become an author? 

By the age of twenty-six, I was actually much happier being alone than dating, but I was completely bombarded by guys trying to date me. I read in a New Zealand tour book that the country’s population has 100,000 fewer men than women.  I wanted to have some me time and an adventure. New Zealand seemed like a good place to do so. 

I found a work abroad company that helped young Americans get work visas in New Zealand and Australia. I had been watching a lot of Flight of the Conchords at the time and enjoyed Bret and Jemaine’s sense of humor and accents.  

(That Flight of the Conchords reference is further proof of how awesome Jamie is. Love this girl.)

I loved the story of the double meaning of the phrase "getting rooted" and after reading what that meant in New Zealand, the title of the book took on an entirely new meaning. Why did you decide to use that as your title?

My title is another way of laughing at myself. One night I was brushing my teeth with my flatmate and I said, “I'm really excited to live in this house because I have been travelling a lot and I just need to settle down, stop travelling and get rooted.” I had meant get rooted in the America way to settle down, lay down roots. He started choking on his toothbrush and asked if I was hitting on him. He explained to me what rooting meant in New Zealand.

I decided on Getting Rooted in New Zealand because it’s funny and the book is about rooting – both meanings of the word.

Do you keep in contact with any of the people you met in New Zealand?

I do keep in touch with most of the people I met in New Zealand. Some of my dearest friends in the world are in New Zealand. Although it is technically not home to me or my Scottish husband, it feels like home to us as a couple because that is where we met. We have been feeling homesick for New Zealand and really miss our friends there. 

Have you been back to visit New Zealand since you left with Grant? (Side note, Grant is this perfect Scottish man she met in New Zealand. Not to spoil the book but... I love love. :) Mostly Scottish love.)

We haven’t been able to go back to New Zealand or anywhere by plane. Although I was married in January 2012 in the UK, my marriage visa was not approved by the UK Border Agency until September 2012. During this time, I was not allowed to work, study, collect benefits or even leave because they had both my passport and my husband’s passport.  

I am currently on a visa in the UK called an Extension to Stay as the Spouse of a UK Citizen. This visa will expire in September 2014. We are deciding now if we should go through another round of visas for me to stay in the UK or if we want to try living somewhere else in the world.  We are seriously considering moving back to New Zealand next year. 

I can only speak from my own experience attempting to settle as a spouse of a UK Citizen.  I have personally found the level of bureaucracy in the UK makes the possible feel impossible.  

This is one the main reasons I decided to go ahead and publish Getting Rooted in New Zealand.  Due to my visa restrictions with the UK Border Agency, I’ve had no rights to work in the UK, but they couldn’t stop me from publishing my book. 

How was the wedding!? How is Grant? How is Scotland? How is your life now?

Courtesy of Jamie Baywood.
Sorry that they are the most attractive
couple in history.

I love being married to him. We got married in a little castle in his home town in Scotland at the beginning of year 2012. My husband wore a kilt. I was hoping for a white winter wedding, but we ended up getting sunshine in Scotland during the winter. It was a magical day; we had a rainbow over a loch, bunny rabbits hoping by us, birds chirping and a full moon reflecting on the loch at night. 

We still can’t understand each other if we aren’t in the same room and there are always new words or Scottish sayings I’m learning.  I hope I never stop swooning over his accent. Being married to a Scottish man is the best. I love the Scottish accent and all the words he uses. I love hearing wee in every sentence. He calls me wee fluffy bunny. I married the sweetest man. He is also incredibly kind, handsome and humble. 

Courtesy of Jamie Baywood.
This. Is. Perfect.
Time to move to New Zealand
to find my Scot.

Grant is very busy working on a MA in Landscape Architecture. This gives me a lot of time to work on promoting my book and attending book talks throughout the UK.For unwanted and complicated reasons we had to move to England last September. It was devastating to have to move out of Edinburgh to Sheffield, England last year for my husband graduate school. We will have to live here until summer 2014. We had more culture shock going from Scotland to England than anywhere else.

Rather than being displaced to a country I didn’t want to move to, I decided to be displaced with the goal of publishing. I’ve just completed a MA in Design. Designing, publishing and marketing my book was my dissertation project. 

I’ve never lived this far inland before. It makes me feel claustrophobic to be so far away from the ocean. I desperately miss the ocean and being warm at the beach. I really miss the warm, friendly nature of the people in the South Pacific. If money and visas weren’t an issue, (which they very much are) I’d love to go summer to summer between Edinburgh, Scotland and Auckland, New Zealand. 

What is your second book going to be about? When can we expect to get our hands on it?

I plan to divide my books by the countries I've lived in. My next book will be about attempting to settle in Scotland. I plan to publish it late 2014.

****

I would highly recommend this book to all of you! It was such a fun read and I loved getting to know Jamie through her book and through our emails. She's so cool and I cannot wait until her next book release. I want to follow her travels for as long as she writes them. :)

I would also like to thank Jamie for the opportunity to read her book and interview her. This was the best! Thanks again, Jamie!

Getting Rooted in New Zealand is available in paperback and ebook on Amazon:  http://www.amazon.com/dp/1482601907

Jamie Baywood can be followed on the following sites:
Facebook.com/jamiebaywood
Twitter.com/jamiebaywood
Pinterest.com/jamiebaywood
http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7069448.Jamie_Baywood
amazon.com/author/jamiebaywood

Happy reading, lovelies! 

The Book Thief

Some books transcend everything, don't they? They change the way you think. The way you write. The way you see the world. They change everything. It gets to the point where you feel incomplete without that book living on your nightstand staring at you every night. When you see other people reading the book you get jealous that they are spending time with your best friends among the pages, cradling the spine like you cradle those characters in your heart. The book has become so completely yours and so completely you that you simultaneously want to share your love for it and keep every single copy in the known world under your bed for yourself.

This is The Book Thief. The untouchable, perfect, heartbreaking, groundbreaking work of art that changed everything for me.

via *

I read this book for the first time when I was about 15. I was immediately pulled in to this world as I watched Death walk alongside these characters and sit by their side in the snowy streets of Molching, Germany. I was immediately in love. I had never read words like this before in my life. The way death described things. The way he saw the world. I wanted to stand with him as he told me his stories, to see the world in the colors he saw it in.

DEATH AND CHOCOLATE

First the colors.

Then the humans.

That's usually how I see things.

Or at least, how I try.

***Here is a small fact***

You are going to die.

I loved the voice Death had. The tired, dry, sarcastic wit. The love he feels for Liesel. For Rudy. For them all. Death's narration makes this book. The way he describes colors. Every time I reread this book I find a new description to love. The first one I underlined? The eyes of a dead pilot the color of coffee stains.

I've never seen description like this. It's an amazing feeling to pick up a book, not realizing how different you will be after you read it. This book changed my writing entirely. I began going description crazy and I saw the world around me twist and turn while I read some passages over and over again. I had never been so taken by a book. 

When I got to the last fifty pages or so, I slowed down. I had tears cascading down my cheeks and I felt like I would never be able to breathe normally ever again. It took me two hours to pull myself through that mountain range of rubble and I emerged on the other side tear-stained, exhausted, and wholly swept away. It still takes me about two and a half hours to read those last pages. Those are some of the most gorgeously brutal words I have ever read.

I've never felt so attached to characters. They feel like family. Because the author spends so much time letting you get to know these characters, you cannot help falling in love with them. He tells you stories that really have no consequence in the grand scale of the story. They don't move plot forward per se, but they make your heart ache for these people. Rudy with his lemon hair, Liesel's love of words and hours spent on the floor of a secret library, Hans breathing with his accordion, Rosa's hidden moments of tender love with Hans, Max sweating fear every hour of the day. Lord, I can't even type about this book without getting tears in my eyes.

This book gives me the most visceral reaction of any book I've ever read. I feel my entire body pulsing when I read it and when I even think about the words. If I ever feel the need to cry, I can think of a scene in the book between Max and Liesel and in seconds glass tears will fall. If I need a laugh, I think of Liesel and Rudy saumensching with each other in the school yard or along the Amper River. Even the name of my blog comes from this book. Liesel reports the weather to Max one morning so the hidden Jew can have a small taste of the sky.

"The sky is blue today, Max, and there is a big long cloud, and it's stretched out, like a rope. At the end of it, the sun is like a yellow hole..."

Max, at that moment, knew that only a child could have given him a weather report like that. On the wall, he painted a long, tightly knotted rope with a dripping yellow sun at the end of it, as if you could dive right into it. On the ropy could, he drew two figures- a thin girl and a withered Jew- and they were walking, arms balanced, toward that dripping sun. Beneath the picture, he wrote the following sentence.

***THE WALL-WRITTEN WORDS OF MAX VANDENBURG***

It was a Monday, and they walked on a tightrope to the sun.

via *

I've spent a lot of time thinking about why this book has affected me so much; enough to lead me to read it once a year, each year highlighting and underlining more and more of my beloved well-loved copy. (I would read it more but I physically and emotionally don't think I could handle it.)

I think at my core, I connected with Liesel and her love of words. Her inspiring, motivating, life changing dedication to reading and writing and taking control of her own world through words. The power of language is a theme that is so central in this book and that is also a big part of my own life. Nothing moves me more than the power of language and watching this little girl fall in love with words reminds me of myself discovering words and using them as a weapon, a crutch, an embrace, a friend. I see so much of me in Liesel. I see me in her feeling of displacement and her deep love for those she cares most about. Her quiet watchfulness and powerful soul. I love that little girl. 

I love all of those characters. I am in love with Max Vandenburg. Hans and Rosa are my second parents. Rudy. To quote Death:

He does something to me, that boy. Every time. It's his only detriment. He steps on my heart. He makes me cry.

This book kills me. This book steps on my heart. This book makes me cry. 

via *

I was so nervous when I heard this book was going to become a movie. Actually, screw nervous. I was livid. I was in my bathtub reading the book when I decided to look at Tumblr tags, hoping to find some pretty fan art. Instead I found a cast list and filming locations. My heart burst open. No, I thought, this is The Book Thief. Not the Movie Thief. Where will the words be? No. These are my characters. They'll have to leave out so much. No. No. No.

I remained furious for months. I got protective and angry. I didn't want people to start claiming this book that was my lifeblood as their own after seeing a movie and never holding these characters in their hands. I wanted the movie to be done right, to do justice to these words that are so ingrained into me. I didn't want people who I felt didn't deserve this book to be able to see the movie and cry. They don't know these characters like me, they don't deserve to sit and cry with me. They will cry because of the Holocaust, I will cry because I'll be watching my family and my heart on the screen. 

Then I saw the trailer. And lost it completely. It blew me away. I was crying within the first three seconds. I was so happy because it looked exactly like what I always pictured, but also different enough to let me keep my images of these people and places alive in my brain. I calmed down with being so militant about this book being mine. My perception of this book and the meaning I have assigned to it will always be mine and nobody will ever touch that. But now the world will see why I go so crazy over this. They will get to meet my loves. 

I am so scared to see this movie. If watching the trailers is any inclination, I will be a horrible sobbing mess the entire time. I went to a movie last weekend and saw the trailer for the first time on the big screen and immediately started weeping, much to the embarrassment of my sister, brother in law, grandmother, and fellow movie-goers. My mom flat out refuses to see the movie with me because I won't be able to stop crying throughout. That's alright, I'd rather brave it alone. 

This was a whirlwind to write. I'm once again tear stained and exhausted; it's like I just finished reading the book. I love this book to pieces, with every beat of my heart and I am so happy to share my love of this book with you all. 

via *

Dear Rainbow Rowell

I finished the best book last night. It's called Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell and I urge you- I implore you- to rush out to a bookstore and get this book immediately. I was so taken by this book and even with its 434 pages, I raced through it. I found myself postponing reading it because I knew how fast I would get through it and I wasn't ready for it to end. But the second I picked it up last Sunday night, I finished the second half of the book in two hours. When the book closed and my dry eyes finally pried themselves off of the last page, I had that lovely settled feeling that comes after finishing a perfect book.

If you are a person who considers yourself to have any sort of internet presence, you will connect with the main character Cath so much. She writes fan fiction for a series of books about a young wizard named Simon Snow. While she can't seem to connect as much in the real world and her group of real life acquaintances is small, online she has any number of friends at her fingertips. Although my blog doesn't have the 20,000 hits hers does, I relate to her feeling of connection and love through the internet. I love my blog readers, I love reading other blogs, I love this internet communication.

If you consider yourself a writer at all, read this book. Rainbow Rowell has the most delicate and perfect way with words. She just... she gets it. She gets what writing feels like, the urgency that you can feel building in your fingertips as you write or when you feel an idea building in your head and no matter where you are, you just start intensely staring into space as the characters move inside your head.  Samples:

"She liked to sit next to him and watch all that good come out of his hand. Watch the jokes spill out in real time. Watch the words click together."

"'But there's nothing more profound than creating something out of nothing.' Her lovely face turned fierce. 'Think about it, Cath. That's what makes a god- or a mother. There's nothing more intoxicating than creating something from nothing. Creating something from yourself.'"

"Your characters quiver, Cath, like they're trying to evolve right off the page."

I just... I can't, you guys. She is unafraid of words and her passion jumps off the page and seeds inside of your soul. I cannot seem to ever forget her characters and I struggle starting new books after I finish hers because I just love these people so much.

The thing I love the most about her writing is how she writes romantic scenes and romantic feelings. This is another area that she just gets. She makes is so raw and so real and it was the first time that I really felt urgency in the romance. A lot of books make every love scene and every romantic feeling very delicate and light. "I can't get close enough to you, I want to be near you..." BLAH. No. It's more than that. It's an all consuming desire and Rainbow Rowell knows that and she writes that. And... it's so incredibly sexy I cannot stand it. I've had to put her books down and fan myself because YES. Just... read this:

"Right about then, Cath realized just how close she was to the edge of Levi's jaw- and remembered what she'd promised herself to do there  She closed her eyes and kissed him below his chin, behind his jaw, where he was soft and almost chubby, like a baby. He arched his neck, and it was even better than she'd hoped.... Cath brought her hands up to his neck. God, he was warm- skin so warm and thick, a heavier ply than her own."

"Levi's mouth was open, too, and he kept pulling back a little like he was going to say something; then his chin would jut forward again, back into hers. God, his chin. She wanted to make an honest woman of his chin. She wanted to lock it down."

I JUST NO AHHHH

Don't even get me started on the sexiness of Eleanor and Park. A taste:

"If he were to look up at her now, he'd know exactly how stupid she was. She could feel her face go soft and gummy. If Park were to look up at her now, he'd know everything. 
He didn't look up. He wound the scarf around his fingers until her hand was hanging in the space between them.
Then he slid the silk and his fingers into her open palm. 
And Eleanor disintegrated."

"She wanted to lose herself in him. To tie his arms around her like a tourniquet."

"'And you look like a protagonist.' She was talking as fast as she could think. 'You look like the person who ins in the end. You're so pretty, and so good. You have magic eyes,' she whispered. 'And you make me feel like a cannibal.'"

That protagonist line? My favorite line in the history of all books. It is perfect. I want my man to look like a protagonist. Get out of her, Rainbow Rowell. You win.

Go get these books, everyone. I can't even write well when I write about these books because they are too perfect for my words. The only way I can describe these books is with Rainbow Rowell's words from Eleanor and Park:

"'I just want to break that song into pieces,' she said, 'and love them all to death.'" I love every piece of these books. To death.

via *

deviation in the fates

"I have often noticed that we are inclined to endow our friends with the stability of type that literary characters acquire in the reader's mind. No matter how many times we reopen "King Lear," never shall we find the good king banging his tankard in high revelry all woes forgotten, at a jolly reunion with all three daughters and their lapdogs. Never will Emma rally, revived by the sympathetic salts in Flaubert's father's timely tear. Whatever evolution this or that popular character has gone through between the book covers, his fate is fixed in our minds, and, similarly we expect our friends to follow this or that logical and conventional pattern we have fixed for them. Thus X will never compose the immortal music that would clash with the second-rate symphonies he has accustomed us to. Y will never commit murder. Under no circumstances can Z ever betray us. We have it all arranged in our minds, and the less often we see a particular person the more satisfying it is to check how obediently he conforms to our notion of him every time we hear of him. Any deviation in the fates we have ordained would strike us as not only anomalous but unethical. We would prefer not to have known at all our neighbor, the retired hot-dog stand operator, if it turns out he has just produced the greatest book of poetry his age has seen."

-Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov

via *

Friday Favorites-Deserted Island Books

I'm a pretty passionate person, which means I love a lot of things. I have a lot of favorites and I have a hard time with questions about picking favorites. But... I'm also a masochist and I love discussing favorites with people. To borrow a quote from John Green, a favorite author, "Maybe our favorite quotations say more about us than the stories and people we are quoting." Our favorites show a lot about ourselves. Next time you think about your favorite anything, think about what is says about you.

I want to start putting up some posts about my favorite things! It's the best part of dating and getting to know someone, seeing their favorites and what they love. So every few fridays, let's get to know each other with some favorite sharing, yes? If you have any ideas for what you'd like to see here, let me know! Movies, books, food, literary characters, you name it!

To start off, let's take one of the hardest questions to answer and hash it out! You're on a deserted island. What five books would you take with you to a deserted island? I saw this post on one of my favorite book blogs called The Midnight Garden. I love what they said about why this is so hard. It means forever with these five books. So what do you pick? The classics, the guilty pleasures? The books that changed you? GAH This is so hard. But so fun. It's like a horrible version of that game Would you rather? I love that game too.

So. After much debate! Here are my five deserted island books.

via WeHeartIt

1. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

This I feel is decently self explanatory. I love the romance, I love the words, I love the passion. I love Jay Gatsby. It's a book I can never get sick of and it would be a real comfort during any long dark nights. Something about this book feels eternal to me and it would be the first thing I would miss if I didn't have it with me.

2. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak

This is another of my absolute favorite books; a book I read once a year. It is unbearably sad but it is also probably the most beautiful book I have ever read. This book changed me and made me a different person and a different writer. Zusak is incredibly talented with his words and this book has some of my favorite literary characters of all time. When I finish reading this book I miss the characters like I miss friends I haven't seen in a while. I would have to keep these characters close.

3. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

I have a box set, so I'm counting it as one book and bringing all three with me. K at The Midnight Garden counted her Harry Potter box set as one so this works too. These books make me feel strong and have pulled me through a lot. THey are exciting and full of adventure and if I was ever in a pickle on my little island I would just pull a Katniss and save myself. I'd need these books there to learn from. And also because they are too good to not bring. These books are perfect. I am Katniss Everdeen and I wouldn't want to lose my connection with her.

(I would like to point out that I am in PAIN trying to pick just five. This was a foolish idea.)

4. The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides 

Here is another book with some of the most beautiful writing around. I read this book for the first time this year and was enraptured by it. It's so unique and just fills your mind with thoughts and questions. It's a pretty book. It's so dark and sexy and haunting. If I have the rest of my life to be on an island, I want to spend that time pondering complex things. This book really makes me do that. Also I love Lux. 

5. Looking for Alaska by John Green

Rounding it out with one of my absolute favorite books of all time, by a favorite author. This was the first book I called a favorite and this book fell in to my hands when I was 15 years old and I still can't get over it. It makes me laugh, it makes me weep, it makes me feel, it makes me love. This book made me want to write more than I already was writing at the time. It's another one of those "contemplate life" books and it gives me a lot of hope. Can't leave hope at home when I'm stuck on an island.

Ok. Well that was torture but I'm happy with my list! Not all of my absolute favorite books made the cut, but I will be all set on my island. And these books do say a lot about me, don't they? I have quite the morbid streak. Ha I can't help but laugh as I count up the total casualties I'll be reading for the rest of my life on my little island. Ha. Awesome.

What are your five books to take to a deserted island? I'd love to know!

On Love and Lola

I love when a book keeps you awake at night and makes you hold your breath because of how much you love it. I love when you root for a character so much that when they finally get something they want, you cannot help but shed a tear and smile like an idiot by yourself in a dark bedroom at 2 in the morning.

I love books that inspire me and make me want to read more and more.

I love books that make me want to write.

I love books that make me want to love.

I finished a book called Lola and the Boy Next Door a few nights back. It was the second book published by Stephanie Perkins and the second book of hers that I have read. When I read her first book, Anna and the French Kiss, I could not wait to get my hands on Lola. (I just reread that... I love the awkward. Apologies to any readers named Lola.) 

Perkins, man. Girl can WRITE. She is hilarious and pure and full of love and hope. Her books always leave me wonderstruck and ready to fall in love. She writes these boys... I just.... they are unreal. In Anna, the boy de jour is Etienne St. Clair. He's British, and also French, and also American. And also the most perfect specimen I have ever met. Read. Whatever I love him. In Lola, it's Cricket Bell. Adorable, awkward, excited, lovely Cricket. 

Don't you hate it when you read a book by an author and it's just so good that you cannot imagine anything being better? And then you go into every other book comparing it to your favorite, never imagining anything could top it. It makes it hard to get in to the other book. I walked in to Lola missing Anna and that world. Luckily for me, ANNA IS IN LOLA! AND SO IS ST CLAIR. And I loved Lola and Cricket enough without the other couple being there. I didn't think it would be possible for me to like a book liked I like Anna but man, Lola won me over. 

If you know me, you know that I'm not the biggest fan of the "chick lit" genre. I don't read a ton of books about girls falling in love with the argumentative but suave boy in her math class. I like my books a little bit deeper. But these books are anything but chick lit. They are so smart and so funny. Stephanie Perkins writes these strong girls who aren't chasing boys but seem to happen upon them, just like real life. Her boys are charming and perfect but they have secrets and burdens that humanize them, like real life. Her books are real, if you catch my drift. The characters don't meet and then hate each other and realize through a series of shenanigans that they are meant to be. They just ARE meant to be. 

Back to the writing for a hot second. Stephanie Perkins, if you are reading this... first off... I love you so much. Your taste in music is superb (GUYS she makes playlists on 8tracks for her books so you can hear what she heard while writing. Get her out of here. She is perfect.) Here is my question for you. How do you manage to write such romantic and sexy books without every ONCE being corny or cheesy? 

Never once during these books do I feel like the romance is forced or cheesy. The whole time I was reading Anna my heart was racing with anticipation and lust for those two to get together. During Lola, I wanted to cry from the beauty and delicacy of it all. It never went over the top, the words were never cliche. It was fresh and alive and heartbreaking. This sentence happened in Lola and I wanted to die:

Did you get that? Anguished. ANGUISHED. Can any word describe love better? It's deep and overpowering and it hurts. Being in love hurts in the best of ways. It's honest and so powerful. Stephanie Perkins gets this. Probably because she loves her husband more than anyone on this planet. Seriously. I've never seen a woman more in love with her husband, and I'm only seeing it through her words. Each dedication is to her husband Jarrod. Also, read the final paragraph of each of her acknowledgement sections at the end of the books. It's for him and it is so lovely and overflowing with love. Stephanie Perkins you are beautiful. 

These books make me realize a lot about myself and my writing. But mostly about love. I have been in love a few times in my life. All consuming love. But I don't think anyone has ever loved me back. I have been loved, I have loved, but never equal amounts simultaneously. These books make me so thrilled to find my one. They excite me and urge me to keep on loving, even when it seems in vain. They show me what that love feels like, that one love that tears you apart easily and carries you to the ends of the Earth. Love shouldn't feel forced. It should click like these characters do, or like Stephanie Perkins with her husband. 

I can't wait to feel that mutual anguish and honesty. I cannot wait for that day when it all clicks. I cannot wait to find my own St. Clair or Cricket. In the mean time, the books will have to do.

Everyone. Go read these books now.

And Stephanie, thanks again for your words. You are truly beautiful.

To Kill a Mockingbird

Over on a book blog I read, Adam of Roof Beam Reader hosted a read-along of this American Classic. Like everyone in America I read this book in the 10th grade for my English class.

via Barnes and Noble

Unlike seemingly everyone in the world, I did not enjoy the book. At all. I honestly don't remember why I had such a distaste for this book. Probably because I'm one of THOSE people who like to hate things that everyone else loves. Just call me April Ludgate, guys.

Via Tumblr

This gif is me after reading this book for the second time, finally, after years and years of false hatred. This book is so gentle and so lovely and so so important. If you haven't read this book for yourself and not for school, go do that. Seriously. These words will live and breathe inside you.

As I started rereading this book I remembered little snatches of the story from my first time reading it but it was so fun to see the stories of Scout and Jem and Boo intertwine with the happenings in the town. This book says so much about us and who we are. It's about the loss of innocence and also staying innocent in the face of horrible adversity. 

I remember feeling that the narration was rather dry on my first read through of this book. This time around, I thought nothing of the sort. It's been a while since a book kept me up late at night reading because I could so vividly see the world these characters were in. Since I could see these people grow and change and fight. It was so nice to feel excited to read a book like this. 

So. Before I get overrun with my gushing love for this book, let's get a brief plot review. Scout and Jem, brother and sister live in the small sleep Southern town called Maycomb. The book begins with older Scout, the narrator of the book, reminiscing about the time Jem had his arm badly broken at the elbow when he was 13. The two can't agree on what started the trouble leading to his accident but Jem assures her that it started the summer Dill came to town and the obsession with Boo Radley began. 

Part one of this book concentrates on the childhood of Jem and Scout when they were 10 and 6, respectively. Dill came to them that summer and they spent their time playing make believe about the mysterious Boo Radley who always remained in his house. Atticus, their father, and also one of the most attractive men in literature, works as a lawyer, Scout starts school, someone begins leaving the children gifts inside of an old tree, and the case of Atticus's lifetime lands at his feet. Atticus is to defend Tom Robinson, a black man accused of raping a girl in the town. 

Part two consists of the incredibly unjust trial of Tom Robinson, a trial that tries the conscience of the entire town. He is clearly innocent, but he is also black, a far worse crime than rape. As the verdict is decided, Bob Ewell, the victim's father swears to get Atticus if it's the last thing he does. The climax of the story comes on Halloween when Jem and Scout are attacked, resulting in Jem's broken arm. If not for the gallant rescue by a mysterious friend, the children would have been killed for nothing more than living. But it's a sin to kill a mockingbird. 

That was the briefest of summaries but guys, sentences are hard with this book. I have too much to say. This book captivated and enchanted me and I loved these characters. As I'm short on time and words, I'll just hit a few points that really stuck with me. 

First. The mockingbirds. This book is full of mockingbirds. 

"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. they don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corncribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."

Tom Robinson, Boo Radley, Scout and Jem. They are all little mockingbirds. I adored the way each character was related to a mockingbird and how sweet they all were. They were all childlike in their way and it was gorgeous. Near the end of the book when Scout related Boo to a mockingbird after the broken arm incident. I can't with this book. Crying for days.

Second. I loved how the first half of this book consisted of little lessons that ultimately became so important during the Robinson trial. A lot of these lessons related to judging people before knowing them and trying to see things from the perspective of others. 

I love the section of the story concerning Mrs. Dubose and her morphine addiction. Jem destroys her flowers and is then forced to read to her each day. Without noticing it, each day he stays longer and longer as Mrs. Dubose slips in and out of consciousness. After she later dies we learn that she was battling a morphine addiction. Each day Jem read to her a bit longer and each day she went longer without her morphine so by the time she died, she was free of her addiction. 

"I wanted you to see something about her- I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do. Mrs. Dubose won, all 98 pounds of her. According to her views, she died beholden to nothing and nobody. She was the braves person I ever knew." - Atticus Finch

The second half too was full of little lessons. That's why this book has remained so relevant and so loved. These lessons and morals are presented so easily with no patronizing and they are presented to children. As opposed to getting preached at, we are seeing these grand ideas through the eyes of a child who has yet to be colored by society's views and opinions. They still see things with that honesty that is so beautiful about childhood. 

One of of the scenes that I had forgotten about but that is now one I vividly remember is the scene after the Robinson trial where Scout finds her third grade class talking about the beginnings of World War II and Hitler gathering up the Jews into concentration camps. Scout asks why the people of Maycomb are so upset about the innocent Jews being mistreated in Europe but see no fault in mistreating the blacks in their own neighborhood. This hypocrisy was so startling and I was mad I hadn't thought of it while I was reading. It infuriated me like it did Scout and made me so angry with the town. This book is so pure and full of such a message of love. 

Also this conversation between Jem and Scout:

"Naw, Jem, I think there's just one kind of folks. Folks."

"That's what I thought, too," he said at last, "when I was your age. If there's just one kind of folds, why can't they get along with each other? If they're all alike, why do they go out of their way to despise each other? Scout, I think I'm beginning to understand something. I think I'm beginning to understand why Boo Radley's stayed shut up in the house all this time... it's because he wants to stay inside."

Guys, this writing. It's intuitive and compassionate and there are so many little allusions and symbols. It's a book lover's dream. It's a writer's dream. It's a dream. To end this already long (but never long enough) post, here are just a few favorite quotes. Also, just read this book. Please. It's important.

"Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing." -Scout

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view. Until you climb in his skin and walk around in it." - Atticus

"Well, Indian-heads- well, they come from the Indians. They're real strong magic, they make you have good luck. Not like fried chicken when you're not lookin' for it, but things like long life 'n' good health, 'n' passin' six weeks tests..." -Jem

"His lips parted into a timid smile, and our neighbor's image blurred with my sudden tears.

'Hey, Boo,' I said."- Scout. (ALSO, this is the cutest thing and most stunning passage in a book of all time. Cried like a child. Such a sweet little soft moment.)

"I willed myself to stay awake, but the rain was so soft and the room was so warm and his voice was so deep and his knee was so snug that I slept.

...

'An' they chased him 'n' never could catch him 'cause they didn't know what he looked like, an' Atticus, when they finally saw him, why he hand't done any of those things... Atticus, he was real nice...'

His hands were under my chin, pulling up the cover, tucking it around me.

'Most people are, Scout, when you finally see them.'

He turned ot the light and went into Jem's room. He would be there all night, and he would be there when Jem waked up in the morning."

(Just saying... Atticus Finch could tuck me into bed ANY night. That man is so classy.)

via Tumblr and also my dreams