I miss you all so much. It's been busy and bruising but I'm still here. I'm very happy with work, although being in a theater for 14 hours a day moving set isn't as fun as it sounds (does it sound fun?)
I've made wonderful friends and I'm always surrounded by so much glowing, booming life. I love the collaboration of theater and the life these people bring. They truly make the walls hum with life. They have the rhythm of life in their hearts.
It's odd to feel lonely among that. Loneliness is an interesting feeling, isn't it? Because sometimes it's just one different kind of loneliness out of the one million different kinds of loneliness.
I have the rest of stage crew with me, but I feel lonely when the entire cast is laughing together. I'm fully content at being alone but watching Grey's Anatomy from the beginning and watching those people fall in love makes me ache for that kind of real love. I want to kiss someone softly every morning, as if it were a habit, something I get to do every single day. I want to hear his voice behind me telling me everything will be ok and know he's right because he loves me and that's all I need anyway.
I am truly so happy for everyone who has found their bliss.
I am truly so sad for everyone who feels lonely or unheard.
I am so sad for everyone who will die alone.
I am so sad for everyone who can't remember the last kiss they shared with the one they love and will never feel those lips again.
I am so sad for everyone who has decided that hatred is the most viable coping mechanism for sorrow or pain.
But I am so happy I have all of you. I'm sorry I've been gone, but I will be back soon.