i am nothing without pretend

Sunday, February 9

It's amazing how crushing you still feel on top of me,
even if it really was only once that your body weight
pressed into mine, made mine
 inconsequential.

This was the real first time, with love
and all that. A dorm room, plastered with childhood
and that beer pong smell. I only smelt turquoise and 
baby teeth.

We were babies swinging from monkey bars,
hanging by our chests and swinging
from our middles, eyes locking on
different points.

Fumbling for what was trying to come naturally, but
only as time wore onward would
we learn was only natural for
 one of us.

Even when we reached connection, you
pushed as deep as a needle inside of me,
my arms gave out from under me and
you faltered.

We moved independently together,
moths circling the same flame before death,
my right wing caught fire first, your left
burning just as quickly.

I still have burns and scars on my arm,
blisters and boils grow where they touch me.
Staying alone lets me stay with you, pretending
you wanted me. 

Via *

Inspired by:


10 comments:

  1. i know i say this every time but you are such a great writer, i feel everything you say x

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  2. "I still have burns and scars on my arm,
    blisters and boils grow where they touch me.
    Staying alone lets me stay with you, pretending
    you wanted me."
    ...that last paragraph killed me.,,,just killed me... beautiful

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  3. i like the line "we moved independently together". the contrast is so perfect. how often do i do that in relationships?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow. You write so beautifully. I don't know if you will be into this or if you've already done one, but I nominated you for a Liebster Award. I wrote about that here: http://takecomfortproject.wordpress.com/2014/02/11/liebster-award/

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your words; they light a fire in my heart. You are lovely.