a fictionalization of complete nonfiction.

Wednesday, March 5

I'm not saying it's as bad as it could be. I'm not even saying it's bad. It's just that I know they are talking about it and I know they see how different I am. As much as they say it doesn't matter to them, I know it does. I'm the odd man out. I'm the one who isn't rushing marriage, the one who doesn't want children. The one who believes in a good time.

There are only so many times humor can happen at the expense of another person. There are only so many times I'll laugh with you when you are laughing at me and judging me in my attempt to play it off before I snap. I'm the moody girl in the basement, you're the celestial trio. Believe me, I get it. I'll be burning in hell with the alcohol and the swear words and the bass lines that read to you like crack cocaine in a bathroom stall. Bring on the burn if it means I get to feel joy in life now. At least I won't be bored.

Keep your eye rolls to yourself and I'll keep my suspicions and anxieties buried. I love who I am. I do. It only gets hard to love who I am when you shove it back in my face against me. That's when I question myself. That's when my nail beds itch and my pores crack open. I try my hardest not to judge you. Allow me the same courtesy.

via *

10 comments:

  1. ugh! it is like you can read my freaking mind! so in love with this. i feel like i am in the same boat, and only, because of this crazy but beautiful place we live in, and the cookie cutter humans all around us. i have come to the same realization lately. more power to us i say!!

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  2. i'm with you and shelby! there's too much that begs to be experienced to accept the standard procession of life - whatever that means.

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  3. Only small people judge others like that. Fuck them you're so much better than they'll ever be and you know it.

    /Avy

    http://mymotherfuckedmickjagger.blogspot.com

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  4. I agree with Avy, fuck them. Only God can judge us. Stay strong.
    XOXO

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  5. i don't understand people like this. there's just no need. stay strong, little one.

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  6. i love all of the above comments. you are better than people like that--& they will get their reward eventually. (one can only hope, right?)

    ps this is gorgeously written, as always.

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  7. Let them spend their days how they want, and fuck them; you know how to live xxx

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  8. I hate those kind of people.let's go to hell together xx


    dreaming is believing

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Thank you for your words; they light a fire in my heart. You are lovely.