It was a rough week, full of sorrow, regret, and growth but today was filled with light and a sort of simmering peace beginning to rise up through my chest. The sun was shining today, I felt warmth on my skin as I walked out of school, a person I love deeply left a gift on my porch, and I was blessed enough to be able to spend my night with three of my dearest friends discussing life, hope, and books. The first annual Smart Girl's Book Club was truly lovely, and much needed.
I was so happy to see my friend Shelby again. I was nervous, as I hadn't seen her and really spoken with her in quite a while for a variety of reasons and mixed signals. But once she got in my car it was like no time had passed. She asked about my life and I handed her bits and pieces of my past, which she puzzled together in no time and we were soon caught up on each other and the feeling of having a whole, completed puzzle of a friendship made me feel so special and happy.
I've been in massive need of friends lately. My soul has been feeling rather tattered lately and I was over that feeling. I began reaching out to my friends, deciding to stop distancing myself and start truly putting an effort in to seeing all of them. Friendship is such nourishment. And great friends are a dime a dozen. I cannot believe my incredible luck in having the marvelous friends I have.
Anyway, sweet caring Shelby, lovely and stunning McCall, and thoughtful, timid Allison and I met at Cafe on 1st in SLC to discuss our first book. Granted, we talked about the book a bit less than we talked about our lives, our futures, and each other, but it was no less special or illuminating. These are some of the most intelligent, level-headed, graceful women I have ever known and talking with them truly makes my eyes well to the brim with tears and my heart boil over with warmth.
These three women have halos over their heads. Truly. They bring such true light into my life, such hope and love. I feel as if they are some of the few people who understand my labyrinth of a brain. Not only that, but they inspire me. They make me want to be better. They make me want to be whole. They make me feel that nothing is impossible.
That's the duty of friends. Friends should radiate compassion and love and hope and peace. They should radiate that special kind of light that keeps you warm and illuminated even in the darkest of times.
Emily Dickinson had a strange view of the color white. She didn't see it as the color of innocence or purity, but rather the true color of passion and intensity. She called red "fire's common tint." To Emily Dickinson the rich, full life of a soul burned white hot. I think that is so beautiful, especially on a Valentine's Day. Red is a passionate, rich color but white, white is pure life. White is clarity and light and intensity. Nothing is more intense that a shining light burning into your retina, nothing so passionate as seeing the light reflected in another human being.
My friends fill my life with amazing light and clarity. I feel so much myself when I am with them and for days after, my soul burns white hot with the passion my friends instill within me. I hope everyone has friends that fill them with the light I feel from my lovely friends. Today was perfect for me, and I hope it was for you as well.
Today felt like this song, which is also perfect. This song pulls emotion through my body and fills my soul to the brim with light.