Tuesday, October 1

  • I had myself a nice little blog-cation while I finished out the month of September, finished my internships (!!!!), and started working once again at Barnes and Noble. I am so happy September is gone. 
  • This song? It's an unreleased Lana song that I can't get enough of. Story of my life/ my theme song.
  • I allowed myself the last day of September to be sulky and sad. I wanted to finish the month of September relishing the suckage of the past month so that I could wake up this morning and face the month of October with optimism and passion. I'm over feeling creatively isolated and I'm over feeling alone. This puzzle of my life is coming together, so help me lord.
  • I'm reading Lolita right now and I am so conflicted about this book. On one hand, it is some of the sexiest writing I have ever read. And on the other hand... this man is in love with a 12 year old. I find myself getting so worked up, but then you remember she's 12 and everything is weird. It's one of the best books I've read in a long time.
  • Last Saturday I went to a concert with Shelby my best friend and it was a steaming hot plate of awkward and delicious. I saw a person I hadn't seen since I was 17 and it was weird and judgmental and I haven't been that intensely looked up and down in many years. I loved it.
  • I believe that brains have a sort of emotional memory. Some days I find myself in a bad mood that cannot be explained. It isn't PMS, it isn't because the day is a bad day. I think it could have something to do with something that has happened in previous years on the same day and your brain has remembered that subconsciously. It has been one year to the day that I saw Sir Idaho who ripped me apart/ world's largest douche. I was in the worst mood today for no reason, unexplainably sad and lost today. But you know, now I feel happy and ready for this month. At the end of this month last year, I met the most wonderful person I've known and hopefully I'll be seeing them again so so soon. 
  • Let's do this October. Cannot wait.
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  1. I love that Lana song and yes, Lolita is an amazing book but very disturbing


  2. hahaha I know exactly what you mean about the Lolita thing. I was just saying to my boyfriend last night, 'I want to be like your Lolita', meaning the way Humbert THINKS about Lolita, and he was like...'but she's underage'.

    haha xoxox


  3. that song is YOUR song. gah, every time i hear it.. it is just so perfect!! awkward concerts for the win!! best night, but not, but yes. hahaha I need to read Lolita. I started it, but never finished it. Time to try again. And October is going to be freaking awesome girl!! feeling so many good vibes!

    1. It will be a superb month once i'm not SICK anymore grrrr :)

  4. Well, I can understand time to wallow and let sadness filter through you. Sometimes that's just necessary. But I am very glad you're back to blogging :)

  5. I like october! but this year it's too cold :<

    I hope you visit my blog too: http://spiked-soul.blogspot.com/ and maybe you follow me :)
    Have a nice evening!

  6. What?! Always love me some Lana Del Rey! Thanks for sharing girl!
    xo TJ

  7. lana del rey and sadness.perfect combo.xx

    dreaming is believing


Thank you for your words; they light a fire in my heart. You are lovely.