Penpal Post

Can we all agree that snail mail is by far the most superior way to communicate? It's so personal and loving that someone would take the time to write you a letter or send you a package. And it makes me feel like an adult to get a letter that's all mine. Not junk mail or a bill, but a letter just for me. 

I've always wanted a penpal so when the lovely Emerald Dove put up a post asking for a penpal I jumped at the chance! Lauren is the absolute cutest person in the world. She is so smart and so sweet and I cannot cannot CANNOT wait to get to know her more through our package exchanges. Her package to me was exceptionally wonderful. Take a peek:

She's from the UK, which is phenomenal. I've always had an obsession with England. Once when I was a little girl and a teacher asked me what I wanted to be when I was a grown-up I answered "British." I'm working on it! She asked me if there was anything specific I wanted her to send me. I asked for a Ribena, a British drink I found at a British store in Salt Lake once and become completely obsessed with. I also asked for Maoam's candies since there is a handsome British youtuber who loves them. I've been dying to try them! (They were amazing! All the best parts of Laffy Taffy's without the waxiness of American candy.) The Cadbury bar was just a lovely surprise :)

I also had the idea to send each other a copy of a favorite book that has a different cover in the UK vs the USA. She's a fellow book lover and I personally feel that there is no greater bond than sharing books. She sent me a copy of The Book Thief that I have been dying to get. This book is my absolute favorite (Along with Gatsby) and the British cover is perfect beyond words. It's quite possible that I cried when I saw it and held it and smelled it. Oh books. 

It was the best surprise to get the package in my mailbox on Friday. On an unrelated note, I also got my official acceptance letter to the University of Utah so I can go back to school in January. I opened the letter and felt an immense sense of calm and purpose come over me. My future is all coming together, one gorgeous puzzle piece at a time. 

The mail was full of wonder on Friday. Even my text message inbox was full of a lovely surprise from the perfect boy. It's coming together, everyone. October is nailing it. 

junk drawer

Outside the sky is trying to hold back October tears, letting a few get brushed away by the trees outside my window. Calm autumn tears. Transitional tears.

I'm huddled up in bed, a drawer from my bedside table in my lap, heavy with misplaced odds and ends. Bottles of lotion, old and new. Lip gloss from various Easter baskets and Christmas stockings. Old CD cases, lists of books to be read, batteries, bobby pins, dental floss, band aids. Everything labeled too essential to be far from my bed, but not essential enough to be sorted into a proper place.

My hand is swallowed by the open mouth in the drawer. I feel a bite and rip my hand out of the pile, dripping red from a hole lightly opened by a rogue thumbtack. I follow the stream of red and see that it's gathering on a folded up receipt page. It's crumpled near the back of the drawer, now cloaked in dark human red. I unfold the note.

A page of Barnes and Noble book recommendations, all crossed out. The top of the page proclaims "You may also like..." leading to a penned response that simply states "ME." Underneath that, "I love you, a lot. R."

The bleeding of my finger has stopped as the pregnant sky starts to fall. The page is ruined, marred by maroon. I contemplate keeping the page, blood and all. But I'm not that morbid. Not quite yet. This note was never junk, a love note that must have drifted into the drawer outside of a book's page, where it should have stayed. Maybe soon another note will drift into my hands, kept safer this time. Cherished and protected. This time.

via *

10.1.13

• I had myself a nice little blog-cation while I finished out the month of September, finished my internships (!!!!), and started working once again at Barnes and Noble. I am so happy September is gone. 
• This song? It's an unreleased Lana song that I can't get enough of. Story of my life/ my theme song.

• I allowed myself the last day of September to be sulky and sad. I wanted to finish the month of September relishing the suckage of the past month so that I could wake up this morning and face the month of October with optimism and passion. I'm over feeling creatively isolated and I'm over feeling alone. This puzzle of my life is coming together, so help me lord.
• I'm reading Lolita right now and I am so conflicted about this book. On one hand, it is some of the sexiest writing I have ever read. And on the other hand... this man is in love with a 12 year old. I find myself getting so worked up, but then you remember she's 12 and everything is weird. It's one of the best books I've read in a long time.
• Last Saturday I went to a concert with Shelby my best friend and it was a steaming hot plate of awkward and delicious. I saw a person I hadn't seen since I was 17 and it was weird and judgmental and I haven't been that intensely looked up and down in many years. I loved it.
• I believe that brains have a sort of emotional memory. Some days I find myself in a bad mood that cannot be explained. It isn't PMS, it isn't because the day is a bad day. I think it could have something to do with something that has happened in previous years on the same day and your brain has remembered that subconsciously. It has been one year to the day that I saw Sir Idaho who ripped me apart/ world's largest douche. I was in the worst mood today for no reason, unexplainably sad and lost today. But you know, now I feel happy and ready for this month. At the end of this month last year, I met the most wonderful person I've known and hopefully I'll be seeing them again so so soon. 
• Let's do this October. Cannot wait.

via WeHeartIt